Pass the plate; or, get some clam chowder with that handbag

That Tony Gore … he sure has an eye for fine things, don’t he? As you may recall, he unveiled a new merchandising website recently, where he told us about how his “extensive travel has allowed me to discover some of the best places in the world to find quality products at unbeatable prices.” We had expected a men’s line to complement his women’s accessories soon - at least he threatened … er, I mean promised as much. But sometimes, when you find something truly wonderful, you have to be willing to go where the fine quality merchandise leads you. Thus Tony in his most recent e-letter:

I wanted to let you know that we have added a new specialty food section at T’s Treasure Chest! This is some great product…I found it about a month ago and actually ordered it for my house…I have prepared it for family and friends and they are the ones that encouraged me to bring it to the website. It is so quick and easy and VERY GOOD! You will love it!

Ok! I’m sold! Sign me up for some of that … “chicken noodle with chicken pouch,” or maybe some “clam chowder with clam pouch,” or the ever mysterious-sounding “Italian-style wedding with meat-ball pouch.” Uck. … I mean, YUM! How does a person find something like “wedding with meat-ball pouch”? Well, Tony is glad you asked. “My travels have allowed me to taste the best food in the world. I truly believe each item I will present to you here; you will also find it the BEST.” Alright, so there’s a bit of boilerplate, cut-and-paste quality to the prose here, but c’mon … we’re talking viddles with POUCHES! The best food in the world. THE BEST!

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