Comments on: Slow news day: diesel sniffers and gospel groupies

By: Singer's Wife

Singer's Wife — Sat, 04 Nov 2006 06:35:56 +0000

This is both a humorous and not-so-humorous subject, especially if you happen to be the wife of a singer. I can’t tell you how many times my husband has been given the old “butt swipe” by women old enough to be his grandmother. Perhaps I should explain this term that we coined to describe the act. Old lady comes up and wants a photo with singer. Singer cheerfully obliges, and allows old lady to put her arm around his waist. After photo is taken, she slides her hand down to his rear and either rubs it or gives it a few pats. Intentional? You bet. But it seems rather comical that she would get her little jollies this way - perhaps that’s the only place she’s getting them at her age.
Now the really humorless stuff is when your husband is approached at the convention by a groupie (translated desparate-for-attention middle-aged woman) who pretends she has some great need to bend his ear off about her private life and during the conversation lets him know that she is available for anything. This type of behavior burns me up. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to whip out the old wallet and show her the cute smiling faces of those adorable children back home and tell her she should see a counselor, as gospel singers are NOT qualified to counsel people about anything regarding their personal lives. That’s what pastors and their wives and psychologists are for.
This opens up a whole debate on what the singers actually owe their fans. I once had a wise pastor of our church tell me that pretty much after my husband sings he has fulfilled his obligation, and owes no one anything (read no extra listening to personal problems or folks monopolizing his time.) Although some people would like to think that because they attended the concert and paid for a ticket or gave in the offering and bought a cd that now he’s obligated for life. It has to be thought of this way: a person attends a concert and pays something to do so. They get to hear the singer sing. Have they received what they paid for? Absolutely. A person buys a cd. Did they receive a product for what they paid? of course. The problem comes in when people think that singers are responsible to do what the Church should do. Gospel groups are parachurch organizations. They have a place in making people feel closer to God through music, but they can never take the place of the church in meeting needy people’s needs. And I have to tell you from years of experience that sometimes, no, make that a lot of times, the fans have so emotionally drained him that he has nothing left for our family when he gets home. This is when I start thinking he’s way too nice.
Now, just so no one thinks I’m way too mean, that same pastor recommended that my husband pray and ask the Lord to reveal which of those people at a concert God actually wants him to take more time with. These aren’t always the people who think that they are the ones who need to have the poor guy’s time!
That’s all I’ll say about this subject!

By: dkd

dkd — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:41:57 +0000

Diesel sniffers are a way of life in most any type of music genre. Most of them are just nice people (mostly ladies or girls) and are infatuated with a group or a certain member of a particular group. Most of the time the group/or individual in the group will be cordial and not think too much of the infatuation. Sometimes though a “groupie” will step over the line and this can cause situations that can be uncomfortable for individuals or group members.

By: jb

jb — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 20:15:53 +0000

DM, you are right. There have always been diesel sniffers and always will be. It’s sad, but, funny too. You can spot them a mile away. It’s fun to go to the NQC and watch the “ladies” hang or hang out (literally) at certain quartets product tables. To some, it may be flattering. To others, I’m sure it is disgusting.

By: DM

DM — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 16:00:15 +0000

There has always been diesel sniffers. If some of the singers are getting old so are they. Where do you think those old women on the front row at “Grand Ole Gospel” came from.DM

By: Gerry

Gerry — Sun, 29 Oct 2006 19:16:49 +0000

Avery has mentioned the unmentionable. Unfortunately, there are sg groupies. Indeed, some have even slipped notes to artists I know saying - if you can believe this - “I’m staying at [hotel name], room #…”
Now, call me cynical, but I just don’t think that they have a prayer session or Bible study in mind.

By: Trent

Trent — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 13:16:07 +0000

The flip side of what you’re saying, Avery, is that there are many artists who are paranoid. They make themselves unapproachable in many cases because of their perceived vulnerability to every fan of their music. There are varied reasons for this, the primary one being an inflated sense of self-worth on the part of the singer. Sometimes it’s a fear based upon a bad experience with an over-zealous fan from the past. In any case, the interaction between gospel music fans and the singers is an important and long-held part of our genre of music.

Artists should have enough tact and common sense to remove themselves from unwanted advances by unreasonable fans. This is easier said then done, certainly, but it can be accomplished without much effort, really. Sometimes you have to be blunt and let the fan know that you need to be available to speak with other fans, that you would appreciate it if they would stop following your bus, etc. Some people don’t take hints very well, so you have to be plain with them.

By the same token, many artists need to realize who is paying their bills and show some courtesy and hospitality at their record tables. Even when a singer is feeling a little under the weather, it is not unreasonable, in most cases, for them to spend a few minutes of their life conversing in a civil manner with those who are paying them money so that they can do what they do for a living.

By: anonymous

anonymous — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 10:14:33 +0000

Allow me, if I may, to present the other side of this. Yes, there are some of us who have bonded with the artists and some of the people they work with. Being a fan, when it’s done right, can be a very worthwhile experience for both sides. The key to success here is to put the main focus on the music and clearly communicate that as your point of encouragement. Also, as has been stated, don’t try to walk through doors that aren’t opened to you. Be alert to and take your cues from the artists. This also works both ways. Artists need to be aware of their own personal actions and make sure they aren’t encouraging more interaction than they are comfortable with.

The other bonus to doing all this right is the other like-minded fan folks you meet along the way and form lasting friendships with. That’s something you can’t put a price on.