averyfineline

The press release on the SN website announced that the Nelons were going “back on the road.” Don’t you just love the random scare quotes? I mean, say a phrase like “back on road” aloud, and use the ubiquitous air quotes with your fingers. What happened? If you did it right, the phrase should have come out sounding like you were being sarcastic or ironic, maybe even a little lewd or inappropriate. As in, oh yeah, they’re going back on the road alright [wink wink], if you know what I mean. 

I had a professor in college who said she had a fantasy in which she donned a cape and mask at night and went around town correcting this sort of punctuation nonsense on outdoor signs and billboards or on the sides of trucks or other service vehicles. We’re the “ones to call.” “Bee Safe” With Us (with a picture of a bumble bee buzzing next to the quoted words).

But that was in the pre-blog era. Now there’s no need to leave your house at all. You can just mock people’s use of random quotation marks - and the unintentionally humorous meanings that arise therefrom - right at home. Professor Gurley would “love” this site.