Joke of the day

The interns sent this joke up from the email-sorting cellar with “LOL” scrawled all over it, so here goes. From regular reader Buick:

She has a high-pitched annoying voice and she she didn’t stay in her last job very long. What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and an SG tenor singer? Lipstick.

If nothing else, points for merging two related discussions into one joke.

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Comments

  1. Wade wrote:

    Good ONE!!

  2. cynical one wrote:

    ROFLOL

  3. Bob Carlos wrote:

    There is so much bitterness on this site, and it starts with the Avery. Get a life people. You’ve had your chance, WHAT A MESS! Come November the liberals are going to get their butts handed to them.
    If you are a democrat, (supporters of murdering defenseless babies ) you have serious problems come judgement day. The Bible states that God HATES the hands that shed innocent blood. Laugh if you choose, but repentence would be a better choice.

  4. cynical one wrote:

    Bob, the bitterness apparently hasn’t ended with you, has it? Not all Democrats support abortion. Not all Republicans are Christians, and not all Christians are Democrats.

    And let’s not forget, Jesus was not political, but he was a liberal, in his days here on earth. He talked at length against the conservatives of the day (ie pharisees). We should be careful whom we call what.

  5. JB wrote:

    Bob,

    You are ignorant to say all Democrats believe in abortion. What are Republicans doing to change it? NOTHING. Bush was in for 8 years and it still hasn’t changed. Thats a Republicans way to win an election by saying they dont believe in abortion. Well if they were to strong against it make a step forward to change it. And you sound pretty bitter yourself buddy.

  6. The Gospel Stache wrote:

    I’m so glad all democrats will face the judgment to “encounter their serious problems” and go to hell. what a relief. haha…bob. the repentance of the world won’t start politically, it will start with Jesus and His gospel. and i agree abortion is wrong in every aspect, but “cynical one” hit it on the head…Jesus was “socially” and “religiously” the most liberal man that ever lived. and He alone has liberated me from the depths of my sin. please run for office again, Ron Paul…haha.

  7. Bob Carlos wrote:

    Simply put, the Democratic party supports abortion. No-one in their right mind can reconcile being a Christian and being a member of a party that supports the shedding of innocent blood. Period. Argue all you want to, but it’s a slap in face of all that is holy to say otherwise.
    To compare Jesus to the liberals of today is simply STUPID. Sorry, no other word describes it better. Jesus stood against law without mercy. That’s what the pharisees were guilty of. Please remember, those who love God, do not shun liberalism (in todays sense of the word) because of a fear of going to hell, but because they desire to never break the heart of the Savior. When a person falls in love with Jesus, it’s about more than avoiding hell, but it’s about living a life that is pleasing to God. In fact calling Jesus a liberal (by comparing him to todays liberals) is blasphemy. By the way JB, Bush did stop partial birth abortion, and fought to outlaw it all together, as did Reagan. Of couse I’m sure you’re smart enough to know that they both were bound by the chains of the house and senate. Also, on day one of his presidency, Barach Hussein Osama, (yeah I meant it),put it back in place. Now babies are again murdered at the time of birth. (full term) It’s sick. I’m done…YOUR WRONG…

  8. Gary wrote:

    Bob, I said on this site before. Those that think abortion is “their right” politically need to listen to T. D. Jakes talk about abortion and politics. It changed the way I think about abortion. I am not for abortion in any form. I think it should be outlawed permanently. That said, why didn’t from 2000 to 2006 the republicans with the presidency and both houses of congress outlaw abortion? JB was right, you only want it as a divisive issue. Jakes tells about the differences of how the different races of people see abortion and which group of people have abortions more often. It was an eye opener for me. I was completely blind sided because I had never looked at abortion thru someone else’s eyes!

    On to Sarah Palin, she is divisive herself and as a Christian, she should want to see people saved and not be name calling. I don’t believe that is what Jesus did and I don’t believe that is what a Christian should do. I do believe I read where Jesus preached on loving your neighbor as yourself. You can hate the sin and not call the sinner names. You should always, always love the sinner no matter what!

  9. BUICK wrote:

    Bob, I’m not bitter. But I do have a sense of humor (sort of). Not that it is ANY of your business, but I am a registered Republican and have never voted for any Democratic presidential candidate. I’m not saying I won’t but I am saying I haven’t. I make my choices based on the individuals and their policies.

    I don’t see anything political about my post that started this thread. I made no comment about abortion…you did. I made no comment about liberal or conservative, Republican or Democrat or Independent. I didn’t say Mrs. Palin was qualified or unqualified. I DID say she didn’t stay in her last job very long. Do you want to argue that point? Step up to the plate and state your case.

    I made a (lame) joke and YOU, my friend, were the one who responded with bitterness, vitriol and animosity. Take a laxative and get it out of your system, Bob. Better that than for it to be coming out of your mouth (or fingers) in the form of words. As the folk at Verbal Advantage say in their commercials, “people judge you by the words you use.” And I judge that you need a laxative. (”By their fruit ye shall know them” and your fruit smells pretty sour.)

  10. CWG wrote:

    Why are people that are against abortion for Capital Punishment?

  11. RF wrote:

    Sadly, we are doomed as a nation and as a people when we disregard other’s beliefs and/or feelings with an absolute statement that “Democrats are going to Hell.” The most devout Christian who ever served as President of the United States, Jimmy Carter, is going to Hell? I’m not the Almighty, but I seriously doubt that. We have become so rigid as a society that those who claim to be Christians love to judge other people so much that they disregard the teaching of Jesus on such matters.

    We are doomed.

  12. BUICK wrote:

    Mr. Carlos,

    The more I think about your rude response, the more frustrated I get. You seem to have made some assumptions about me based on a JOKE I submitted. You obviously don’t have a sense of humor so let me get VERY serious with you.

    I’ve already told you about my voting record (which is still none of your business but I’m trying to educate you that you ought not to jump to conclusions without any facts.) Let me tell you a little more.

    I am profoundly pro-life. Are you? What are you doing for the cause? I’ve served on the board of directors for our local crisis pregnancy center for a number of year. And, of course, I support it financially and with my volunteer labor to help sort clothing, teach classes, do fundraising, etc. My wife and I have fostered six (6) kids that needed homes. We adopted 2 children (even though we already had biological children of our own). What are you doing, Bob??

    I am heterosexual. I’ve been married to the same woman for 40 years.

    There has never been a time when I have not been involved in teaching and leadership ministry in the local church. I’ve served on church boards for almost 40 years.

    I’ll match the level of my financial support to the local church and to foreign missions with yours if you’d like.

    I do not fit anyone’s pigeon-holes particularly well because I don’t let one candidate or one party do my thinking for me.

    And I’m trying to decide EXACTLY what it is from which you, Mr. Bob Carlos, would like for me to repent. Contrary to your assertion, I was not and am not bitter. I’m a little ticked that you would judge me without knowing me and would do so based on a two-sentence joke about a political figure. The joke wasn’t dirty. It wasn’t racist. It wasn’t sexist. It wasn’t denominational. It wasn’t even political. (Some would add that it wasn’t particularly funny, either. I’m OK with that. My wife doesn’t think I’m all that funny but I love her anyway.)

    Mr. Carlos, you suggested that repentance was in order. Help me know what I need to repent of and I will take that under consideration. I would suggest that you need to repent of being harsh, judgmental, negative, critical and of jumping to conclusions. I look forward to reading your SINCERE apology to AVERY, to me and to the AVFL community - once the Holy Spirit has space to work in your heart and bring you to conviction. (Have you received Him? I pray that you have and that you will yield to the repentance to which He is surely trying to lead you.)

  13. Lenny wrote:

    I’m with you, Bob. And there are many more like us - just not here on this site.

    I understand what you’re trying to say. Truth is, so do the others. They just don’t want to hear it. Nobody wants to be told to repent. This is a very liberal site, where folks are allowed to criticize anything conservative and most things even Biblical.

    “I’m Okay, your’e okay. Can’t we all just get along?” (as long as you agree with my liberal world view)

    Royght.

    This nation is in real trouble and we WILL be judged for the innocent blood we’ve shed.

    Repent and stop living in LaLa Land, people.

  14. Wars? wrote:

    Innocent blood? Did somebody mention the wars Bush got us into? If the democratic party would outlaw ALL abortions and make same sex marriage illegal, you would never have a republican in office again! They would have nothing to campaign on and the majority of their following would be so ignorant of other issues.

  15. mrs.noah wrote:

    My Christian Friends, we are way off the subject here. It is not about Democrats, Republicans, Independents, abortion rights, health care, etc, it is about a politician appearing at NQC.

    I’m sorry, but any and EVERY politician is talking politics if their lips are moving - they live it, love it, eat it, sleep it - that is their choice - I hope that everyone who supports Mrs. Palin is able to see her, visit with her, vote for her - whatever they want -but just keep NQC void of political displays, and if anyone is blind enough to say this will NOT be political, they are living in denial.

    Mr. Beasley’s canned response to all who wrote to him indicates how little concern the owners really have about the feelings of supporters of NQC. One response fits all! I know, because I got the same response.

  16. Videoguy wrote:

    Funny joke.

    Now, got any Obama jokes?

    I’ll wait…

  17. Bob Carlos wrote:

    Thanks Lenny, this is so sad. SO SAD. There are none so blind as those who WILL NOT see, and none so deaf as those who WILL NOT hear. Right is STILL right if no-one else is doing it, and wrong is still wrong if the whole world is doing it. It’s amazing the responses that TRUTH gets. It would be funny if it wasn’t so SAD!

  18. ForgottenSwampWorld wrote:

    “an” SG tenor? Don’t they mean “a” SG tenor?

  19. Joe wrote:

    CWG asks this question:

    “Why are people that are against abortion for Capital Punishment?”

    Fairly simple. Abortion is murder of the helpless, the innocent, the indefensible.

    Capital punishment is for those who murder the helpless, the innocent, the indefensible.

    Murder is never right. But looking at the above two statements for just a minute, helps one understand why some individuals actually have no problem murdering abortion doctors.

    Capital punishment? Be careful what you say on this one. Jesus Himself agreed with it. So much so, that He voluntarily submitted to the worst capital punishment ever devised by man, against man…so that you and I could be saved.

  20. BUICK wrote:

    OK Bob. I’ve got it now. I WILL TO SEE…I WILL TO HEAR.

    I apologize to you and to everyone else I offended when I made a joke about Sarah Palin and SG tenor singers. (I had not realized SP had achieved the status of sainthood in some [narrow] circles.) And I certainly didn’t think that my little attempt at humor would cost so many innocent unborn babies their lives. I had not considered that my 29 words could condemn my soul to hell for eternity. My thanks for pointing out all of this to me. I do not understand the details about just why and how my little quip did so much harm but I must bow to your superior wisdom and spirituality and accept that it is true.

    Please accept my apology and pray for my soul…if I still have one.

  21. JB wrote:

    Bob,

    You are so misinformed. Republicans had control of the house from 2002-2006 WHILE Bush was president. If they wanted it changed they would have changed it then. They will never make abortion illegal because its the ONLY way they win elections.

  22. tusk molarr wrote:

    Joe (# 19)– Jesus did NOT agree with capital punishment. HE died in our place so WE would not HAVE to die. How can it be any simpler than that?

  23. CWG wrote:

    Joe - First, I don’t think that the death of Jesus on the cross was a form of Capital Punishment - He gave Himself freely for us. I have looked up the many scriptures in the New Test. about forgiveness and you can do this for yourself. To me, the killing of innocent babies, and the taking of another human life is murder, no matter how you look at it. Maybe if we were a little more forgiving, we would not be in the place we are today. I realize that you will not agree, but just think about it for awhile and try to approach it as Jesus would - maybe you will be able to accept that we are to forgive no matter what is done against us.

  24. Joe wrote:

    tusk and CWG- crucifixion most definitely WAS capital punishment, and the Lord Jesus willingly and without protest submitted to it. Yes- he did give Himself freely for us. He also became propitiation for the sins of the world.

    And He also specifically took the place of one Barabbas, who was scheduled for capital punishment that day, for murder.
    And the other 2 who died beside him, were being capitally punished for their crimes as well.

    Crucifixion has been declared the most gruesome and toruous capital punishment ever devised by man against man. It was invented by the Phoenicians, and “perfected” by the Romans. It was only around for a very small percentage of human history. And into that tiny window of time, Christ came, so that He could endure this death, and fulfill all the crucifixion prohecies of the OT.

    Finally, capital punishment was ordained by God in the OT. Interestingly, it was an edict that was never rescinded by Him in the New Testament.

    Had God not authored the concept of capital punishment (”for man’s blood, shall man’s blood be shed”), He would have had a truly difficult time authoring Calvary.

  25. tusk molarr wrote:

    Joe (#24)–
    God did not kill the very first murderer (Cain); in fact, he marked him so no one would try to kill him.
    And in Ezekiel 33:11, God says– “As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die…?
    If that does not rescind capital punishment, it surely says God doesn’t want it.

  26. BUICK wrote:

    Bob Carlos will probably not post anything else on this thread. In fairness, he may not revisit it to see what people are posting - so it does not necessarily mean he’s ducking the questions. But just in case:

    I had asked Bob what he was doing to advance the pro-life cause (other than pasting a Palin bumper-sticker over his brain and making membership in the Republican party a test of salvation). I have suggested some things that some of us are doing to advance the cause but Bob has listed nothing…which may be EXACTLY what he’s doing. As he has already said, there are none so blind as Bob’s who will not see.

    What started all of this was a little joke I wrote and sent in. It was a take-off of what Palin said when she said she was a soccer-mom and compared soccer-moms to pitbulls. I would have thought that comparing her to a(n) SG tenor singer was kinder than what she said about herself. But Bob, who feels honor-bound to defend the ex-governor and ex-vice-presidential candidate, deemed that it was a vile insult and a tool of Satan. I just want to remind you how we got here—and who it was who took us down this road with the bitterness that started with him.

    #25 - a few excellent insights that I had not considered. In some states, like Illinois, they stopped capital punishment not on philosophical or theological grounds but once they realized that they had executed a number of people later proved innocent. That ought to cause us all to pause and think very carefully before we get too excited about killing criminals. Our legal system is not infallible and execution is irreversible.

    I was asked if I had an Obama joke. No. Sorry. I wish I did. It’s not that I wouldn’t send it if I had one but I don’t.

  27. Joe wrote:

    tusk-

    We could continue this ad nauseum- I most likely won’t

    Ezekiel was not the rescinding of the death penalty. Far from it. In fact, God was showing His love and grace to those sinning against HIM.

    While all sin is against God, capital punishment was originated by God to put to death those who killed other human beings. He has never rescinded that. He took it so seriously, that He provided Israel with 6 cities of refuge, where a person could go to be safe, if they had committed involuntary manslaughter. If they ventured out of the cities too soon, the relatives of the dead were allowed to kill THEM.

    God killed Ananias and Sapphira in Acts for lying to the Holy Spirit. And He caused the deaths of some of the Corinthian Christians for blaspheming the Lord’s Supper.

    You are correct. He never wants the wicked to die. But over and over, He punishes with death those who deserve it, in His estimation.

  28. Tell It wrote:

    #11 Jimmy Carter also claimed that anyone who opposes Barack Obama’s policies is a racist.

    Sound Christian to you? …by your fruits ye shall know them.

  29. the other side wrote:

    #16

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W57aBMYKvU

  30. KC wrote:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsOBH0ecWA8

  31. cynical one wrote:

    #18 — ForgottenSwampWorld — No, “an” is the correct form, because the name of the letter “S” begins with a vowel sound. So we would correctly say “an SG tenor”, while we sould correctly say “a southern gospel tenor.”

    That concludes our grammar lesson for today.

    Buick: Thanks for the joke. I thought it was funny, but I’m sorry it’s added to this ugly debate of whether a person can be saved and still vote for a Democrat. I have appreciated your comments much more than most of the Republican’s comments herein.

  32. RR wrote:

    What a mess. Don’t you people have something constructive to do?

  33. KC wrote:

    This link above doesn’t work; but this one does. :)

    http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/sarah-palin-network/1217966/

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